High school chat #2 | Welcome back anxiety !

by - Saturday, September 27, 2014

Even if you follow me for a long time you don't know that I suffer from anxiety .. I've never talked about my deep personal life here on the blog but today I thought I'd share how I feel and I might help someone out there just by knowing that they're not alone
The first time I experienced anxiety was a year ago .. I felt very weird I just felt that I couldn't breathe and it even continued for two days  !
I felt so odd and I never thought I had anxiety I couldn't sleep because I couldn't even breathe .. One day I woke up in the middle of the night because I couldn't breathe and I suffered so bad , the worst part is that my family didn't understand what's going on even my mom 
! nobody thought that what I was going through was severely hard that I thought I was dying ... I asked my mom to see a doctor to check my lungs and pharynx (I thought it was a physical issue , little did I know it was anxiety) but my mom delayed it , luckily my brother was awake when I had a severe panic attack and he immediately took me to a doctor..

The doctor then said that my physical health was fine and that what I had got nothing to do with my physical state , hearing this relieved  fear .. The fact that I'm not dying made me feel better quickly and when I went home I talked for a while to my brother about my state and I immediately felt better and went to bed  

Even though I wasn't dying I didn't know that this was anxiety and that it can come back at any time  which unfortunately happened this week (the first week of school and it did also attack me a couple times before) after a few days attending school , meeting my old friends and teachers (which is supposed to be good) I started feeling really odd once again .. I felt really depressed and sad for no reason , I hated the nighttime because I had to sleep and suffer from sudden panic attacks and crying (even though I normally prefer nighttime) again I got breathing problems and felt like rooms are getting narrow and I was sinking in my own negative thoughts ..
What made me really angry is the fact that I knew that this was temporary and I was waiting for it to end , my physical health temporary got affected by anxiety (for example I had difficulty peeing for no reason) but luckily I have a friend at school who suffers from a severe health problem which made me feel both sad and better , because I felt that what I was going through was nothing compared to her and I gradually felt more put together ... Now I'm just waiting for anxiety to come back at any time soon :/ 

If you suffer from anxiety let me know down below .. Let's talk about it to make everything better 

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