heavy...

by - Friday, December 08, 2017


by mayar
        

      How do one live knowing that they're unhappy? Knowing that they can't change their current situation, they can't get themselves out of it. They just have to live it fully, get through every bitter bit of  it. How can one sleep at night knowing that they're wasting days doing the wrong things? knowing that they're trapped in a pre-made setting they didn't have a say in?

Distractions? I guess it's the distractions then. But do you know what happens when you drink so much caffeine on the daily that it doesn't affect you anymore? Well, same goes for the bittersweet distractions. They don't work anymore.

How do people console themselves when there's nothing to do to break out of that vicious cycle? Nothing works anymore. Everything has been tried but nothing is as effective as it used to be.
How do you wait? It's not easy when you've been waiting for years. It's a lot and one can only bear so much.

How do one live in a place that is not taylored to fit them. Everyday feels wrong. It's like going against your instinct. Against the things that make you happy that happiness becomes a blur. Sometimes you just can't understand why things happen to you; things that make you feel heavy on the inside and you wonder what you've done to go through all this. It's painful and confusing but I guess we won't be able to see why it all happened to us unless we stay alive till the day it all makes sense.

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