why do bad things keep happening to us?

by - Sunday, February 11, 2018

It's a question that we all have probably asked in one way or another in whichever stage of our lives. I've purposefully chosen to use a more childish approach when I wrote the title since it's a type of question often asked by children to adults, they ask questions like "mum, why did this have to happen to me?" " I haven't been misbehaving, I did nothing wrong". While some people think it's a silly question asked only by children, I personally think that questions like this grow with us.

I find it rather interesting that we often, consciously or unconsciously, correlate "bad things" that happen to us with bad behavior that must've been shown by us. I've caught myself thinking this way multiple times and honestly, it can get very frustrating and I don't think it's a healthy way of thinking. Especially when you just can't think of something, that you may have done, that's anywhere as bad as that's happened to you. You may even start thinking that  you must be a bad person to receive such tough "punishment".

As much as it may have seemed as a tough punishment to you (or to me) it could, in fact, be a big challenge to toughen you and make you a better, stronger person. I now like to think of bad situations and tough times as lessons that prepare me for the position I'm made to be in and the woman I want to become.

I went through a lot, I had to face a very sad reality too soon and I had to get accustomed to it. I collapsed before it hopelessly, refusing to accept what had become my new life and I hated every part of it. My health went downhill, both mentally and physically. It was a dark part of my life but I learned a lot from it; it's changed me tremendously and I can never go back to the less strong person that I was before it'd happened. I'm not blaming the person that I was at that time and I never will. I simply couldn't take it because I never saw past the situation, I never looked at it as a lesson and I couldn't find out the purpose behind it. Now that I'm out of it, I can confidently say that it's been an essential part of my life that had to happen; to make me the person that I am today. Knowing this could have helped the younger me and could've made her more patient, but I don't blame her. I did what I could at the time but I've learnt and grown so much since then and will continue to.

Currently, I'm dealing with something that I much rather not deal with. I hated it at many points of my life and I wish it could go away but it's, currently, a part of me and it's in turn going to be a part of my everyday life for what seems like the rest of my life. I consider it to be a "bad thing" and I honestly don't know why I have to deal with it everyday. I hate the thought of me having to deal with this "bad thing" as a punishment (for the reasons I mentioned above) but having seen how I got out of a situation before, in which I felt completely trapped and couldn't  see the purpose behind, I'll accept my current situation and try to eliminate any negative thoughts that keep coming to my head regarding it.

I have a vision of the woman that I want to become, it's not very clear but I can at least see the outline of her. From what I can see, I don't think it's easy becoming her and it's completely understandable to be put in tough situations to learn from and to become closer to where I want to be in life. It's not very easy and we all have our down times when we feel like everything is just too much and we cry it all out but we must not let it consume us. I cry, but I get back up and continue with my life. It's okay to cry and to feel sad at times but don't dwell on the situation and try to move on as soon as you can.

 Bottom line is, don't stress on things you can't control; it's of completely no use. Spend more of your time building yourself, healing, caring for yourself and those who you love,  spend more time with people who help you grow. Don't waste your time. Things are aligned in your favour not against you. Relax 

- reem 

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