Coping with Long Term Adversity: What Positive Psychology Taught Me About Managing Hopelessness

by Reem - August 18, 2020

click for the artist

Not long ago, my university offered us free access to online courses and to me, watching courses online was one of those things I never knew I needed until I actually tried, especially considering the fact that now more than ever, there's plenty of room for boredom and time wasted doing nothing in particular. If you know me, then you know how much I despise wasting my time, if I'm not advancing professionally, I better be doing some work on the inside and improving my thought patterns.

For the longest time, I had really destructive thinking and it had several negative outcomes in my life. Not very recently, I decided to put an end to it. It's not an easy decision and it most certainly doesn't happen overnight, and I am aware of it, but I committed to the journey and I decided to be patient with myself.

.

.
That being said, it might not come as a surprise to you that when I had access to free online courses presented by top professors and experts, I was really grateful. At first, I started advancing in my field of studies but then I thought that maybe there could be helpful resources for me to grow on the inside and improve my thought patterns. So, I started searching for Psychology courses and came across a very laid back and relaxed course about positive psychology. I never thought I would finish it or benefit from it in any way, but surprisingly, I did both of those things.

The information in the course was not groundbreaking, but here's the thing about mental health — just like negative thought patterns were built slowly, positive ones require repeated exposure to helpful information to build up over time. I can go on for ages about this topic, so without further ado, here's what I learned during the positive psychology course...

Coping with "Chronic" adversity

How the course was structured, was that the main tutor sat at a round table joined with four adult professionals who either needed positive psychology to be better at their careers/ roles or were already in a career involved with positive psychology.

One of the participants deals with individuals with chronic issues in her career. She presented three helpful thoughts that she wanted her patients to remember whenever they feel hopeless because of their seemingly endless issue(s). Whether it is a longlasting or "chronic" physical or mental health issue, I personally think that the thoughts she presented can help either way.

Here's what you need to remember next time you feel hopeless about something that you seem to be stuck with:

1. You're not alone in this: no matter what type of problem you happen to be dealing with, there's a good chance that someone else in this big world feels the same or is dealing with the same problem as you are. We tend to feel isolated and alone when we're stuck in a negative thought pattern and hopelessness consumes us but taking a step back to remember that someone somewhere feels the same as we do, can make the whole thing less burdensome.

2. There's always something positive you can focus on: I tried to phrase this in the least insensitive way possible; because I know how hard it is to shift your focus from a negative situation you feel hopeless about, let alone see anything in a positive light. But oftentimes when we are too sucked in a tunnel vision that we can't see anything other than the problem, we amplify it even more and it grows to consume us that we fail to even acknowledge the presence of many blessings in our lives.

This is not to blame anyone who feels stuck, rather, it is a reminder that if we exerted the same effort focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, we would feel so much better and generally more grateful. The problem doesn't disappear simply by shifting our focus to something more positive, but it certainly helps us cope and see things with a more well-rounded view and not from just one point of view.

3. Things change: Nothing lasts forever. We know this to be true generally, but we sometimes forget that it applies to adversity too. Just because our minds sometimes make it seem like we're never getting out of a horrible situation or that how we feel now is going to be how we feel forever, doesn't mean that it's true. Our thoughts can sometimes be wrong.

We may have formed these thoughts based on our feelings, but feelings are not facts; just because you feel stuck, doesn't mean you are actually stuck. And even if you are, change will always be an integral part of this universe. Almost nothing stays the same, so why will you?
.

.

Next time you feel stuck in a thinking pattern that convinces you to be hopeless and implies that there's no way out, make a conscious effort to remember those three things and notice how you feel afterward.

Let me know how you're holding up in these times.

You might also want to read:

THINGS TO DO IN LOCKDOWN / SELF-ISOLATION

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BE PRODUCTIVE RIGHT NOW?
check out the mentioned course here